Friday, May 15, 2009

I've been very introspective lately. I think it stems from a few random happenings that all seem to be echoing one another. At least four or five people have asked me about high school and who I was back then...others have asked my age...and others what I plan on for the future. Those things combined create quite the mess in my head as each of them presents one thing or another that I can sit around pondering for hours to no avail.

I have always been an outlier--the oft mentioned square peg. I would go into all the various ways in which I am rounded where others square and black when they are white, but for anyone who knows me, they are obvious enough. The point, however, is that I've never quite felt comfortable around anyone. I am rather awkward (as my little sister will attest), and have self esteem which is in negative correlation to my outward arrogance. When it comes to dating, the one thing that I find most attractive (someone who is intellectually intimidating) is also the one thing that makes me begin to sound like an idiot.

I think I had a point somewhere up above but alas, I've been sidetracked. odd as this is to type as I sat down here to share for once at a loss for words to describe how I feel right now.


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