Baptism pics...

Here are some pictures of me and the Baby Eli. You'll have to excuse the huge bags under my eyes. Over the course of my whirlwind trip back home, I traveled some twenty-five out of fifty hours. It was well worth it though, just look at the little bugger and tell me you wouldn't have traveled as far for a day with him.That's me when I woke up in the morning after my flight and got to hold him for the first time. He has abnormall long toes and his hair reminds me of a chimpanzee...he's awesome.

Me and his godmother were changing him into his baptismal clothes. My tie and suit combo was no accident.

This is me holding him after the actual baptism. My cousin JT took this picture...he's a young one, but a good one.

This is Theresa, his godmother, and the baby Eli.

This is me, holding the baby, with big bags under my eyes. He was sleeping around that time.

You'll find that babies are just like real people...but everything is smaller. See that pinky finger and tongue? Just like yours and mine...but smaller.

Baby Eli...

Sorry for the multiple posts, but, as of thirty minutes ago, Baby Eli is a real living breathing baby!!

Baby Eli...

Here are some pics of the Baby Eli in the flesh!!

Paradigm...

For the last three years, I have seen the world through the understanding that we will all die. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. After my dad's death, nothing has seemed more real to me than the fact that we will all die. Nothing we do will last, nothing we do will carry on after, but, we will die, and that, my friends, will be the end.

This weekend, I flew out to California again to be a Godfather. My cousin, Valerie, gave birth to Baby Eli, and asked me to be his Godfather. He is eight pounds. Tiny, by most standards. I have been a Godfather before, but maybe it's because I'm more mature now, but the reality really hit me. This tiny little person has as much life, as much potential, as much of a future ahead of his as anything. I held him in my arms, and tried to rock him to sleep (to little avail) and was nearly at the point of tears. It's difficult to explain, really. My cousin, Valerie, is amazing. She reminds me of my sister, but...to me, she will always be Valerie, my crazy, funny cousin. But now, she's a mother.

Seeing her as such makes me realize that my own mother was once just like Valerie. I don't know if my mom was funny or crazy or any other adjective, but I know she was the youngest daughter. I was talking to my second oldest aunt tonight and realized that she still thinks of my mom as her parent's twenty-five year accident. To me, however, my mom was never a sister, a daughter, a friend...she was always just...mom.

It's strange for me this weekend. For the past four years, all I could see was the end. Something about being here at Eli's beginning really makes me see that each of us had the same start, and that from my start to now, I have so much to be thankful for, I am almost ashamed about how I let the end worry me. For how can one be here, around so much love, and family and history, while so many others lack, and worry about what may happen in the future? I have a family that is closer and more loving than so many others. And, my future, and my past, unlike so many others, has been so full of love and family, that me feeling anything but grateful for it is simply selfish and wrong.

I will post some pictures when I get back to school.

family and friends...

The past two weekends have seen a flurry of activity out my way with friends and relatives making the trek to Texas. It's been amazing and fun, but also tiring. This month is a heavy month of training for me and workdays have started earlier and lasted later. This, coupled with the weekend visits, has made me a very tired person.

Last weekend James, Claire and Alex came to visit me. We went tubing, drank beer and otherwise enjoyed each other's company. I would write more, but I believe there are maybe two people other than those who I just listed as being on the visit, so it would be a little unnecessary for me to explain the weekend to those who were here with me.

This weekend, my cousin Valeria and my Godson, Eli, came out. I haven't been around a baby in a long time (maybe toddler is better since he's 1.5 yrs old) and I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Baby's are great, because they make you so happy when they smile and laugh. That laugh that children have that's just so pure and happy can make you smile even when they've kept you up all night crying or spilled milk all over the place...they laugh, and it seems as though everything in the world will be OK.

Valeria and I had a blast, but it was strange to me to imagine her as a mother. Even as I watched her do all the motherly things like warming milk, speaking baby jibberish or sucking boogers out of his nose, I can't help but think of her as the eighth grader I used to look up to when we were in elementary school. I talked to her for a while about this, and how for Eli, he will never be able to imagine her as doing anything other than being his mother.

I try to remember that when I talk to my own mom...that she's more than a mother, she's also just another person--a woman in the world trying to find her own happiness and her own life. It's difficult to do sometimes, but I think spending some time with Val has given me a point of reference I did not have before.

Baby Eli...

Due in January, the first pictures of my future Godson:


I know he looks like he's giving you the finger in the first...and looks kind of tad-poleish, but he'll grow out of it, I promise. It's neat...I've never seen a baby before it's born that I'm gonna know as a real person too...crazy!