Thursday, January 17, 2008

porcelain doll...

I have always been "that guy". I have never done drugs, had crazy wild sex with strangers, or even been to many rock and roll concerts. I have been, in most respects, a kind of twisted version of the kid parents wanted their sons to 1950. I think my friends have come to expect as much of me over the years, and I can appreciate that. However, there is a mistake made if those same friends think that because I have acted in such a way for almost three decades (at least two of those being decades in which I've made decisions for myself in a cognizant manner), means that I have not wanted to do other things.

What I mean by this is, the simple fact that I have not done (add in any vice fulfilling activity here), does not mean that I have not been tempted to do so. Nor does it mean I am not currently tempted to do so. So...why is it that the very friends which do whatever they please, whenever they please, are the same ones who chide me for even mentioning that I may want to deviate off my path of righteousness?

Is it wrong of me to be disappointed when friends hold me to a higher standard than themselves? Or, should I be grateful that they look out for me when I occasionally lapse? In any case...I have grown tired of being the porcelain doll...the guy who people to go when they need to see a model of the lives they chose not to live. I will do it, because it's the only way I've ever known how to be. But all I ask is that when I occasionally think of stepping off the pedestal I never asked to be placed upon to begin with I not be called a dirty pot by the crowd of kettles below.


Blogger Wild Oats Organic Garden said...

I just drank two bottles of wine and now I am going on a bike ride. I am all that is man! Join me on my quest to be a traffic problem on a Rriday night.

7:27 PM  
Blogger moville said...

You had success as an enlisted man in the army. You graduated from West Point, one of the most competitive institutions in America, and your pictures show that you had lots of stripes on your sleeve at the end, indicating that you impressed a lot of people there. You've got legions of friends and readers, and great should keep on exactly as you have been, regardless of what anyone says.

9:37 PM  
Blogger Alex said...

Dude you can go deviate your pants off for all I care. I mean if you developed a huge drug problem I'd be kinda bummed, but if you ever catch me judging you just call me on it and I will shut my hypocritical loudmouth.

8:52 AM  

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