How do you fight?

So, I'm often told, when it comes to matters of the heart, that I need to be more optimistic. I'm also normally told this by people who are practically married. So, the question becomes, how does one remain optimistic in the face of what seem like insurmountable obstacles to meeting someone. Moreover, if you're not one of those people who believes in fate, or the idea there's "that one special person" out there who's just waiting to be found by you...what exactly is there to hold onto and be optimistic about?

Now, I'm not saying I'll never be in love, but I don't really believe there is one person in particular the fates have determined I'll end out with. I think lots of people fall in love and can't imagine being without that person, such as my sisters and their husbands, but I don't necessarily think they were destined to meet...I think they just got lucky when they found one another. And, if it is about luck, then it's possible I could just be...unlucky, right?

And, if my current life's work precludes me from actively seeking someone to be with for whatever reason, then, how exactly do I meet someone? The Late Great Daniel Johnston (that's an allusion to his best of album) wrote;

"True love will find you in the end.

This is a promise with a catch;
Only if you're looking,
Can it find you.
'Cause true love is searching too,
But how can it recognize you
If you don't step out into the light?

Don't be sad,
I know you will.

Don't give up until,
True love will find you in the end.

And, like with most things in life, this is a bit of a paradox. Because, I know how I feel about depressed and depressing people, and they don't really make me want to hang out with them. So, there you are...sitting in your room, wondering why you're alone, and acting like a sad 14 yr old girl listening to sad music, and pushing away more people because of your behavior...and the cycle continues.

The good news is, unlike many other times, I have a friend who met someone. Instead of letting myself get jealous, as I so often do, I'm actually happy for the kid. So...baby steps toward being an emotionally healthy grown man, but steps nonetheless.