Response...

Someone left a response to my breif mention of federalism and whatnot in my last post. It sounds far more educated than I am, so I figured I'd post it here, in case anyone was interested:

The Defense of Marriage Act forbids the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages in addition to allowing states to "opt out" of the full faith and credit clause of the Constitution.

According to the federal government, not a single same-sex relationship is legally recognized in the United States. Thus, marriage in the military wouldn't exist. Thus, no benefits.

When stationed in gay-friendly states with civil unions/marriage, they would be treated as married off base within the borders of those states only but never on federal documents.

If the spouse is a civilian and the military member was overseas, the civilian would not have any moving costs covered by the government. If the servicemember was required to live in on-base housing, their spouse would probably not be able to reside with them. If they were stationed in Europe, their marriage would be recognized off base only.

Dual-military couples would not be eligible for co-location and could end up thousands of miles away from each other.

Britian lifted the ban and immediately established co-location privileges and housing for gay couples -- even before gay partnerships were recognized in the UK.

Should the ban be lifted, gay soldiers will be perpetually "single". Life-long relationships would be reduced to at most, the status of "boyfriend-boyfriend"