Saturday, March 27, 2010


I'm writing this here instead of on facebook (where I now write far more often due to both ease of publishing and because I'm normally on there anyway), because less people read this one.

That being said, I've been in a relationship for a while now, or, have been trying my hand at it. I still keep that one close to the chest because--well, I'm a private person believe it or not.

Not to immediately contradict myself by sharing private things, but I will do so anyway. Last night, we got into our first fight. It was kind of a big one, and, I like to think, equally both our faults. I kept thinking to myself, "why?" Why were we fighting? There are obvious initial causes (I was sick and upset I didn't get a phone call. Whereas my harping about not getting a phone call was an obvious turn off and cause of anger on the other side.)

But what I've come to realize is that if we didn't care about each other, if it weren't something that was, or has the potential, to be "real" then we wouldn't be hurt or angry. My mom used to tell me that someone can only hurt you if you care about them. I think that's true. That's what makes yesterday and how I'm feeling right now so much harder. It's my realization that the first time I might realize that this is "it" is when I may have lost it. It took being hurt, and hurting someone, to realize that I don't want to do that, that I'd rather just let this pass and be where we were before, because I really do care.


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