Wednesday, January 25, 2006

This Rocks...

OK, it doesn't really, that was a lie. The point is, what kicks ass is the fact that I am now officially a bad cadet. I mean, let's throw out the fact that I actually keep my shit clean this year, shine my shoes everyday, study (yes...I've been studying) and am otherwise doing everything I should...oh, and I've been working on the whole cow loan, 500th night, Respect Captain business...but hell...

I can't run across a balance beam under pressure. Yes, it's true.

We had the IOCT yesterday something which, while sucking mad ass, hasn't actually posed a problem or threat to me ever. Anyway, I was running it and making pretty good time when I slipped off the balance beam. I don't know why...maybe it jiggled, maybe I looked down, maybe there was a gust of wind of the simple hand of fate...maybe my shoe slipped or maybe the planets were just improperly aligned...the point is, I fell off.

Now, for those of you who don't know the IOCT or have never attempted to negotiate the perils of a balance beam under pressure, two things are important to remember...the difference between getting and A and failing is one minute and for some reason, walking on a balance beam when people are watching and you're now nervous (as you've just fallen off) is far harder than it must seem. Thus, the next reason I'm a bad cadet...

It took me three further tries and a ten second pause to get my head straight before I could inch my way across a beam that only days before I had shown someone else how to do...yes, four tries in all my friends, to walk across a goddamn beam. The addition to my time? No less than 25 seconds...putting my final time far from the passing mark.

The cool part is, I was able (yes, that was sarcasm) to complete the course which is akin to putting ones head in a bag of asbestos and sprinting a mile. I get to re-do it next week, which is awesome, with all the other losers who failed, most of whom can't climb a rope or hurdle a hurdle...we don't call it "Barnum and Bailey" for nothing...Oh are some pictures of Christmas in Joshua Tree:


Blogger Claire said...

If he's Safety Pat, then are you Danger Adam?

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haven't they torn down that dungeon of a gym yet?

1:36 PM  

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